Opposites Attract: Why I Don’t Date People Like Me

When I fall for someone new, I tend to cascade fast and disastrously, letting my emotions run the show. That is because I am attracted to pheromones, and I allow them to consume me. They penetrate my mind and allow the dopamine and serotonin to seep out, driving me into love-soaked madness.

This is not love at all, but the infatuation stage. Also known as the obsession stage. During this stage, I’m the absolute worst. I’m that girl with screen-shots of only the best pictures of my newly beloved. My friends roll their eyes as I tell them every aching detail of who they are, how we met, and of course, what they look like.

But oftentimes they are a bit taken back.

This? This is the guy you’re so crazy about? But he looks so…normal. I get this reaction more often than I’d like to admit. I thought you’d date someone a little more…alternative. Like a hipster or something.

That last bit made me gag a little. So I’m just going to gloss over that. But as for the alternative dig, I get it.

When you see a moderately tattooed, alternative looking girl, you’d imagine that she likes dating even more moderately tattooed, alternative men (or women). And that used to be the case. But I’ve come to find that these tattooed alternative

But I’ve come to find that these tattooed alternative “men”, are fucking insane.

Most of these guys struggled through adolescence. They were picked on growing up, and didn’t find their place and sense of self until an older age. Suddenly they realize if they get a little ink, learn an instrument and grow out some facial hair, people will find them attractive. You bet that attention goes to their head. Now, with the vast illusion of choice, you should consider yourself lucky to be with them. To even be considered a side piece, or midnight fuck. Know your place, and be grateful.

I’m not saying all alternative guys are like this. But the pretty boys sure are. In my experience anyway. I just can’t keep up with someone who’s just so…cool. Their knowledge in music is way more extensive than mine, the bands they listen to are waaaaayyy better. Their ideas are just so avante garde. What can I say? I can’t keep up.

The truth is, I find guys like this nauseating and boring.

Why would I want to be with someone who is just like me? I mean, I would prefer for our ideals to be similar. But if I’m going to date someone, I want to learn something from them. Adapt with them. I need to be with someone with a different culture. Not necessarily from a different background. What I mean by culture is someone with different interests, different taste in music, the aspects of themselves them make them who they are. Their personal culture.

When you date someone who is exceedingly different from you, you tend to create an idea about them. A bias.

You assume that they must be a certain way and believe certain things because of the way they dress, where they’re from. And you will always believe this until you get to know them. Until they say something that you would consider so out of character, making you realize that they’re not at all who you thought they were. This realization is so captivating to me. I want to know more. I want to know everything about them. I want to know everything that makes our worlds so different, and everything that unifies us.

Sameness is boring. Simple as that. I need someone who sparks my interest and keeps me yearning for more. Someone who can show me the world through a new light. Someone I can learn from. Someone I can grow with. That just can’t be accomplished with someone who thinks and looks like me.

 

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